I was talking to a friend last night that has been trying to have a baby. They had told me that their prayer is to get pregnant by Christmas of 2010. I told them I remember having those type of conversations with God. But bottom line is God's Will is the only thing that matters. God knows our future and our heart, we just have to trust in Him. But as soon as I told them that I was reminded of my own prayers. I was curious of what they were exactly two years ago, so I dug out my journals from that time. I would like to share some with you.
Dear God, today is my 28th birthday and Brian said one of my gifts is that I can stop taking birth control. I am so excited. I have been waiting for him to come to this decision, I really tried not to push. He knows that this is a desire I have had for a REALLY long time, now it's his desire too! OFF TO BED (wink wink)
Dear God, I have gone to the pharmacy every month for five months to get an EPT. NOTHING.....no baby yet. I am really starting to get discouraged. Please God if something is wrong with my body make that known to me. Please Father...allow us to be parents!
Dear God, WHY? Everyone surrounding me is pregnant, or just had a baby. Why do you keep bringing these people into my life? I honestly don't think I can see another pregnant lady and not cry. Lord give me strength!
Dear God, If it is NOT your will that I become a mother take this desire from me.
Dear God, Next month will be one year since we have started trying to get pregnant. Why God? Are you trying to teach me something? Have I not been faithful to you? Is this NOT your will? Please God, take this pain from me! I am trying to depend on You God. I understand if this is NOT your will, Father. But please give me strength to endure it. Give Brian strength to deal with me, if this is not meant to be our future. Please God, hold me close!
Dear God, Well, the Dr. told me today that we had options....but Brian and I have decided that we WOULD NOT get medical assistance to become pregnant. We figured that we could spend a great deal of money at the doctor's or we could spend that money and adopt. God, I guess that our path to parent hood wasn't necessarily what we thought it was going to be.
It's amazing how God has EVERYTHING in control! He knew exactly who our child was going to be when got married. He shed light on the path we were meant to take. Day after day I praise God for Unanswered prayers.
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