3:00 a.m.

Daylen has always been a GREAT sleeper. Ever since he was born, he would sleep all night. In fact, his first few weeks, we would have to wake him up to eat. Even now, it takes a lot for him to wake up in the middle of the night. So, since I know he won't wake up, I will pick him up after he has gone to sleep to kiss and love on him.

Last night was no different. I woke up around 3:00 a.m. to use the restroom, and on my way back to bed I took a little "pit-stop" in Day's room. He was sleeping so soundly and peacefully. But of course I couldn't resist. I picked him up and kissed his little head. I ran my fingers through the tiny curls in the top of his head and wondered if his birth father ever wondered about his hair color. I ran my finger down his button nose and wondered if his birth father ever smelled baking cookies and thinks of this tiny boy. I kissed Daylen on his tiny lips and wondered if his birth father ever spoke the words, "I love you son." I felt his beautiful heart beat and wondered if his birth father's heart ever aches with the emptiness of not knowing this child. I held his tiny hand in mine and wondered if one day when he is older, will he look at those same hands and ask if his birth father has hands like his. I cradled his fat little foot in my hand and wondered if one day he would walk up to his birth father and say, "Thank you for giving me the best life I could have."

I often wonder if I will ever meet this man. Only the Lord knows if this day is written. Yet, I know what I would say......"Thank You for giving me the best life i could have!"

A complete Outrage

Hi Friends! It has been too long since I have last been in here. Between Daylen, Brian's sports, church events, and my new hobby....crocheting, I have been away. But I came across a story today that made me take time out! I am outraged about it.

I'm sure most of you have heard about the Adoptive Mother in Tennessee that adopted a 7 year old boy from Moscow. For those of you who have not, the rest of the story goes like this....

After only a few months, she felt as if the boy had mental issues, so she bought a one way plane ticket wrote a note and put her 7 YEAR OLD SON on a plane and back to Moscow. The note saying that the orphanage lied to her about the boys mental health and they she did not want him.

I am completely astonished at this on soooo many levels. As an adoptive mom I know the heart ache of wanting a child and not being able to biologically have one. I know the thrill of getting matched. I am assuming she had some warmth in her heart to feel some of these emotions. So, how could she go through these emotions and then just decide to "return" him like a shirt that doesn't fit. This poor child!

So, let's look at her point of view. She gets the boy home. She then discovers that he is a abusive and feels as if he is mental unstable. Instead of getting this child help, she decides to send him back. I am not certain on the time frame. I have tried to see how long she actually had him, but I cannot determine that. I am assuming that is within a six month frame. This child has just spent 7 years in an orphanage, fighting to be heard. She thinks that he is just going to snap into American life?

I do not know the Tennessee laws, but in Illinois we had to have post-placement visits after we got Daylen. This is when a social worker meets with the parents and the child to see if everyone is doing o.k. Did she not have to do these? Did she NOT have a support team, to help her through this? Did the agency encourage this? I cannot believe anyone would tell her, "Send him back. He is a bad egg."

What in her heart told her this was a good idea? Yes, there are days when Daylen has torn the house apart, and he is screaming from the top of his lungs, and he won't listen to me, but NEVER NEVER NEVER do I think, "send him back!" NEVER!!!!!!

I do like to give people the benefit of the doubt, so let me try........Maybe he was a handful and she realized that she could not handle him on her own. (She was a single woman, not married or with a partner) Maybe she lied awake at night praying over this decision. Maybe she tried to get him help, and it just wouldn't help. All of this said, still brings me back to the answer, I cannot imagine ANY adoptive mother putting a 7 year old on a plane alone with a note. She says this child had mental issues.......I am thinking this is the pot calling the kettle black.

To increase my outrage....Moscow has now decided to stop all U.S. adoptions. Meaning, that any U.S. family that had their paper work in and waiting for a match will not be getting a child. This lady's one act of carelessness has deleted thousands of hopes for over a thousand families.

My prayers are with that child. He felt the hope of a family, and it was taken away. Then again.....if this was going to be his mother.........I don't know if it would have been any better.

Hold you children close. Kiss them, even when they are screaming, laugh when they won't listen and remember the ache you felt before you had them.